Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Family Meeting #2 (2.10.2013)

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm setting myself up for failure (or a mental breakdown); if I'm expecting more of myself than I could possibly get done in a day or week (reality check: it took me to Wednesday to get these notes typed up!).  That said, I'm really enjoying the family meetings and feel like I do have a better hand on what is going on.  Here's how our second meeting went:

  • 4:15 start
    • Zack is on the job! (keeping time)
  • Appreciations
    • Last week Phina said that she was curious what we said we appreciated about each other so I wrote down some of our appreciations
    • I told Zack that I appreciated that he shaved off his stubble but left a moustache; and that we can turn conflict into humor. (about a year ago we got into a fight about something and I told him that the way to make it right with me was to let me draw a moustache on his face.  He agreed.  A few days later after we had a spat about something else he joked "phew!  I was afraid you were going to draw another moustache on me." And since then we just joke about moustaches being a punishment for him.  So the other day he was going to do all this stuff while I had Madeleine down for a nap, except he didn't do the majority of it because he'd just been watching  videos on youtube.  He also hadn't shaved in about a week so I asked him to shave off the beard and leave the moustache as a reminder to do the work first and get to play if there was time.  And WOULDN'T YOU JUST FUCKING KNOW IT: he even looks gorgeous with a moustache!!!  He does not look like a pedophile or a bank manager, he looks like freaking Douglass Fairbanks.  So ridiculous!  Anyway, it makes me laugh every time I see it.  I hope it stays for a little while.  Pictures coming whenever it fills in enough.  It's a great way to diffuse tension, I think, to just find a way to laugh about it all and move on).
    • Zack told me he appreciated how organized I am
    • We both said we appreciated how patient the other one is with Madeleine
  • Contributions
    • We both felt like this past week went well and we should continue on this path
    • One thing we can do is to write out some of her routines and leave those notes all over the house so that whoever is taking care of her has a map to follow
  • Schedule activities
    • Pass out Valentine's cards to strangers
      • There are some cards from Mom's card making event at her happiness store but we think it would be better if there were more
      • Will make some Tuesday night (while we listen to the State of the Union)
      • Will pass them out on Thursday at lunch downtown in Montpelier
    • Political Rally
      • 10 am Saturday
      • Should we bring Madeleine?
        • I want to make sure she is being political
        • It is her nap time
        • We are leaning towards bringing her, but not 100%
    • Sledding
      • Zack wants to take Bee sledding at least once this week
    • Valentine's Date Night
      • Zack wants to see Warm Bodies, how romantic
      • Wednesday or Friday (mom and dad are going to watch Bee, but they have a Valentine's date themselves)
  • Miscellaneous
    • I want to add three elements to how we are being a family/raising her
      • Being political
      • Volunteering
      • Being environmentally sound
    • Zack wants to do some activities with her when she is older
      • Putt Putt, laser tag, other physical play stuff (I also want to play laser tag, because it is -wait for it- AWEsome)
    • Life insurance
      • I think we both need to get life insurance in case anything terrible happens she will be taken care of
      • We are each going to contact our current car insurance companies to get quotes about life insurance
    • Trash in the living room
      • Mom has requested that we not leave trash in the living room on its way out to the outside cans
    • We seriously need to get the cat to the vet
      • My job to call and make an appointment
    • Jenny
      • Jenny has asked if we can babysit Edwin on Thursday
    • Meals
      • Went over grocery list/meal plan
      • I am going to cook 2 dinners this week
        • Almond crusted cod w/ buerre blanc sauce, potatoes, asparagus
        • Chicken curry w/ rice, mushrooms, beets
      • Zack is going to cook 1 dinner this week
        • Chicken Marsala
    • Crazy schedule
      • Mon: j dr.s appointment
      • Tue: z work/make valentines
      • Wed: J teach voice/date night
      • Thur: J chiro/pass out valentines/babysit
      • Fri: Z work/J work
  • Mission Statement
    • First step to writing a family mission statement: we each pick the 3 values we think are the most important
    • Will compare lists at the next family meeting and move forward
  • Close of family meeting #2
    • 4:52
    • There were some interruptions and we were taking care of a 10 month old at the same time but how in the heck are these meetings supposed to be 20 minutes?
    • Seems like they shouldn't be more than 30 minutes though

Road Map Meeting #2
This was actually much shorter than last week's meeting and the family meeting just before it.   We just talked about what we did on our lists, what didn't get done, why it didn't get done and how to change that for the coming week, and then we listed our new roadmap items.

I thought a lot this past week about what was working in terms of getting things accomplished and what wasn't.  The biggest problem is that I don't really have time to fill out applications AND work out AND do one of the naps w/ her.  Zack is totally willing to do two naps in the day, but I don't want to give up both naps.  I know she's just there sleeping, but it's a relaxing time for me when she is asleep and it's a happy time when she wakes up and we can play quietly and snuggle just the two of us.  So I have a few options: one, I can give up both naps, work out with one and apply for work with the other.  Two, I can work out in the morning and then fill out job applications at night after she's gone to bed (Captain Burnout, anyone?).  Three, I can just power through the next two or three weeks and get all the job applications that are backed up filled out and THEN start really working out.

I'm guessing option three is where it's at.

I have been stretching a lot and that is helping with the pain in my shoulder (hopefully, Thursday's chiropractic visit will also help with that), and I'm going to add some strengthening work to the sessions this week based on what I've been reading about diastasis.

With Madeleine's roadmap we're feeling like everything went quite well except for the sleep.  We seem to be loosing ground: not only did the plan to only nurse every 3 hours completely fail, but she won't even take a pacifier to go back to sleep.  Something has happened and now every time she wakes up in the night she will ONLY stay asleep if she is attached to the breast.  I have stayed up for HOURS in the past week trying to get her to go back to sleep or STAY back asleep with a pacifier not me.  No dice.    She waits me out (and by "wait" I mostly mean "scream").  Zack just leaves the bed so that I can prop myself up with pillows and try to sleep while she nurses.  *sigh*  hopefully this phase will be exited swiftly.

Finally, I am going to need to think about sugar.  Perhaps that is an entire blog in and of itself.  My addiction to sugar while knowing that it is making me sick.  My refusal to let Madeleine have sugar while eating it myself.  It's a problem.  But she's up so I gotta go.

Jennifer's Road Map
  • Get in Shape
    • Stretch five times this week (Sunday,  )
    • Get on the treadmill three times
    • Read 30 pages in the baby belly book
    • BAKS
      • Write them out on a cheat sheet
      • Do them every time I stretch
  • Find a job
    • Submit 5 applications (Missouri State)
    • Mail hard copies to Amherst and Kent State
  • Write in Blog
    • Family meeting #2
    • One other (Kevin Gray)
  • Read
    • Bringing Up Bebe 
  • Physical/Mental Well being
    • Chiropractic
    • Email Kerry about sugar
    • Phone/skype date with one of your major loved ones (scheduled a phone date w/ Johanna for Saturday afternoon)
    • Play date w/ one of the moms
    • Figure out what you're going to do on the moms night out on the 22nd
    • Mardi Gras in Maple Corner
    • Valentine's Date w/ DBF
  • Solvency
    • Taxes
    • Talk to student loan people (before they send someone to break my legs)
    • Pay capital one bill
    • More voice students?
  • Spanish
    • Sub the Spanish class U32
  • Travel
  • Environmentally sound
  • Volunteer
    • Pass out Valentine's cards/chocolates to strangers
      • Must make them first
      • Must get materials to make them FIRST
  • Politically active
    • Watch State of the Union
    • Rally at the statehouse to ban assault weapons
  • Miscellaneous
    • Write up Madeleine's various schedules so others can follow them
    • Get large tablet of paper and markers
    • Geico: life insurance quotes
    • Call vet to make an appointment for Auschwitz cat
    • 3 values most important to you (for mission statement)
    • Get car started (battery)

Madeleine's Road Map
  • Sleep through the night
    • Try to get her to sleep unattached to the boob
    • Zack sometimes put her to sleep/back to sleep
    • Read the next chapter in the Sears sleep book
    • Commit to some rough nights/naps
  • Talk
    • Read to her
    • Talk to her
  • Walk
    • Lure her with electronics (she's really getting there)
  • Feed Self
    • Relax about the mess
    • Eat at least one meal with her

Home Road Map
  • Clean
    • Clean pantry
  • Good Mom & Dad relationship
    • DTD
    • Not watch videos every night
  • Entertainment
    • Oscar movies: Beasts of the Southern Wild
    • Continue w/ West Wing
  • Healthy living
    • Meal plans/grocery store
  • Good parenting
    • More with Duct Tape Parenting

(Zack's road map is written in his book so I can't copy it here)

No comments:

Post a Comment